In the past I said I don't care if the kids like me, since I'm not here to be their friend, I'm here to be their teacher. It's true that I still view myself as a teacher first and foremost, and when I made the original statement it was fairly easy for me to have that mentality. After all, this is my job, isn't it? Isn't professionalism about giving your job duties priority over your personal feelings? The longer I'm here though, and the more I get to know my students, the more I feel a connection to them. No longer are they a crowd of random faces I can barely associate the right name with; these kids have become individuals whose personalities I constantly have to know how to manage.
The truth is, a lot of kids don't like me, or if they do, they do a pretty good job of hiding it. It shouldn't bother me as a professional, but it's getting to a point where the constant abuse I have to endure from the students wears me down emotionally. Now that we're not strangers anymore, it feels personal. Not only that, but these kids don't know how much I care about them.
I realize that children don't usually have a wide enough perspective to appreciate everything adults do for them. Heck, I was probably a little ingrate at that age too. Still, I wonder how the kids would treat me if they were aware that this strange foreigner who they taunt and mock at every turn genuinely wants the best for them and is doing as much as he can to shape them in a positive way.
I'm sure there are lots of people who come to this country as English teachers because they think it's an easy paycheck and they'll have plenty of opportunities to party (at least, that's the impression I get from the internet). I, however, am not one of those people. I sought out this job because I love the English language and getting to work with it every day is fun for me. Not only that, but the older I get, the more I feel a sense of duty toward the next generation.
I know it's a cliche, but children are the future, and what is humanity driven by if not a hope for a better future? In our lifetimes we become all too familiar with the world's problems, but we remain optimistic that posterity will improve upon what we built. I'm not a parent, but I'm still someone who can influence the next generation by guiding these young minds as best I can. These kids aren't just my job, they're a responsibility I take very seriously.
Of course, as I said, kids don't often understand such things. I guess I just need to suck it up and realize that when these children call me names, kick me, disrupt my class and the like, they should be forgiven, for they know not what they do.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I just got paid earlier this week, and I hope to buy a digital camera soon. This blog would be greatly enriched by photographs, don't you think?
That first comment was from me, by the way. Used my pen name by accident.
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